Hey.
You haven't changed. Please, take a seat.
How is your sister?
I have three sisters.
The one with the big tits. The one I always wanted to fuck.
I hear good things, Latif.
It says here you can shoot straight.
Officer material, promoted already. Lieutenant.
Please, help yourself.
Juice?
I won't keep you guessing, Latif.
I want you to come and work for me.
- Work for you? - Here, in Baghdad.
Like old friends.
- We were friends, weren't we, at school? - Classmates.
Didn't you once paint a picture of my father?
- You still have it? - I gave it to you.
I have an awful feeling I told him I did it myself.
Do you know who this is?
- Of course. - No, no, no.
It is not who you think it is.
His name is Faoaz al-Emari.
Not Saddam. I see him all of the time.
In the newspapers, in the magazines, on television.
Even I cannot tell who is who.
It is not so unusual, Latif.
Stalin had a double. He had dozens. So did the Shah.
The country is at war.
My father cannot be expected to be everywhere at once.
Half the time there is no good reason, but the people, they expect it.
Add to that there is always the chance some fucked-up Shi'a scum
will take a shot at him.
Look at yourself, Latif.
Look. Look, look.
Look at me.
We could be twins, no?
You are taller.
How much? This much?
Didn't they used to say you looked like Uday Saddam Hussein?
Didn't they used to say that at school?
I want you, Latif.
I want you to be my fidai.
I want you to be my brother.
Don't say anything.
Take 10 minutes.
Think it over.
What happens if I say no?
T en minutes.
He is shitting bricks.
His grandfather was a Kurd. It's a pity.
But the family's been in Baghdad a long time.
His father's done well.
I believe he sells domestic appliances.
He's never said a word against the party.
Latif is the best we could find. And we looked.
Well, I have to have him.
You will have whatever you want.
Everything I own will belong to you.
Uday,
I am my father's son.
I would give my last drop of blood for Iraq.
But when this war is over, I'm going to work in his business.
I am the eldest son.
I have brothers and sisters. I have given them my word.
- Sleep on it. - Uday...
You are asking me to
extinguish myself.
Thought it over?
Please be clear about this, Latif.
Uday has chosen you. You belong to him.
You have about five minutes to think about this
before a car pulls up outside your house in Al-Adhamiya
and your family, every one of them,
your father, your mother, your sisters and brothers,
is thrown into Abu Ghraib.
God willing, they will die quickly.
I've said too much. You have about two minutes left.
You'll have a cook and four maids.
These pretty girls will get you anything you feel like.
Strawberries in winter, figs in July. Just ask.
But lay a finger on one of them without prior permission
and you'll never walk upright again.
And these are Uday's rooms.
He wants you to use them, now that you are to be his brother.
Leather sofas, Italian marble, all designed by Gianfranco Giannelli.
Handmade shoes, suits,
Brioni, Versace, Armani, of course.
Silk ties, watches. Breitling, Cartier, Rolex.
Silk pajamas.
These are very nice.
Poor child never knows what to wear.
He changes his mind every five minutes.
Depends on what car he's driving.
Honestly, habibi, that boy, he wears me out.
You should probably clean yourself up.
No calls.
Incoming, yes. Outgoing, no.
My name is Munem Hammed al-Tikriti.
We're going to be seeing a lot of each other.
I write to my mother once a week.
She's going to think that I got killed in Iran.
Inshallah.
Inshallah?
My family are going to think that I'm dead.
Let them think you died a martyr.
I know it's difficult, but it's what Uday wants.
He will accept nothing less.
She will be knocking on the door of every hospital in Baghdad.
When you say your prayers tonight,
when you turn out the light and close your eyes,
this is what you should be saying to yourself,
"Latif Yahia is dead. He died in Iran.
"May God have mercy on him.
"Now I am Uday Saddam Hussein."
Guten Tag.
Take off your clothes, please.
Cough.
One more time.
And one more time, please.
Uday is three centimeters taller.
We can use built-up shoes.
Look at that. He is perfect.
- Uday, this is boring. - Shut up.
How can you sit here all night looking at yourself?
- He looks great. - He doesn't even look like you.
What?
His cock's too big.
What do you mean, his cock is too big?
Uday's life story. Learn it.
Come on, come on, tell me.
Shape of face, hair, nose, physique, all in the high 90s.
- Good. - Your eyes are five millimeters bigger.
- They can use make-up. - And the teeth? What about the teeth?
Two peas in a pod.
- I was just trying the teeth. - Smile. Go on, smile.
No, no, no. Like this.
And do the hair. Do the hair.
You like the Rolex.
Keep it.
You look good in blue.
Yes, it definitely suits you.
Latif, hurry up.
- There's too much ice. - Can I say blue is your color?
Shut up.
I like the way you fight.
You fight like me.
He fights like me.
I had a word with Dr. Linz.
He says your cock's too big.
We need to make a surgical reduction.
- A what? - Chop a bit off.
- What? - Not much.
Just a teeny-weeny.
Not much?
My cock is well-known in Baghdad. The women, they talk.
I'm joking with you, you fuck.
This is Said Kammuneh.
He's a member of the Iraqi Olympic Committee.
He has something to show you.
This is from the personal collection of Uday Saddam Hussein.
That guy, he was a police officer.
We were on the same football team.
Great left foot. Good in the air.
I shot this myself. Wait a minute.
Good work, huh?
We got a lot of this shit from the East Germans and the Russians.
See that guy? That's Rakti, the wrestler.
He won a bronze medal in Moscow.
The President calls him the sharp sword of the Republic.
You know that gas station on Haifa Street by the lights?
The President gave him that.
The fat fuck's making 20 grand a month.
That's good money.
Look, I'll leave this with you.
- Seen enough? - Enough?
Have I seen enough?
I remember the day Saddam Hussein became president of this country.
I was still in short trousers. We ran through the streets, shouting,
"Saddam! Saddam Hussein! Saddam Hussein!" Firing our guns.
Even my father. Even my father.
This stuff, Munem...
These people... I hope Said said something about this.
They're criminals, deserters.
Pornographers, counterfeiters, murderers, of course.
Putschists. Enemies of the Republic.
Saddam Hussein built this country. Never forget that.
The schools, the roads, hospitals, the mosques.
He gave the Iraqi people everything they want.
He demands only one thing in return.
Never raise a hand against his family.
Do so and you will suffer.
The people you love will suffer.
Do well here, work hard and you'll be one of the family.
One day all this will be over. Inshallah.
Inshallah?
Only God knows when.
Come, come, come, come, come.
Munem disapproves. Look at him.
He's angry with me. He thinks I should leave you at home.
- Who's this? - Latif? He's my brother.
Nobody must know this, but Saddam, he has three sons.
You tell anybody this,
I will have to cut your tongue out with a razor and feed it to the cat.
Everything I own, I give to him.
You don't own me.
Sarrab, best fuck in Beirut.
Loosen your tie. Let me do it for you.
There. Isn't that better?
Be careful what you say.
I can read your mind.
Are you really the President's son?
You know what they say on TV.
We are all the President's sons.
Hey!
Look at him.
He can't keep his hands off that drag queen.
Poor Uday.
Sometimes I think he wants to fuck himself to death.
Will you excuse me a moment?
Keys.
Give me the keys.
Give me the fucking keys!
Baby, I so love your tits!
I hope so, lover. You paid for them.
What have you done with my brother?
You see, Munem?
Discipline. We must have discipline.
If we do not have discipline, we have no control.
If we have no control, we have chaos.
If we have chaos, we have disorder.
You do understand, Latif? It is quite simple.
We must have discipline.
Got it?
Good.
Latif. Five minutes.
Latif.
- No, no, no! - We must have discipline!
Discipline! We must have discipline!
How was that, Munem?
Excellent.
Sorry.
Good.
Empty your pockets.
My grandfather,
he talks to me the same way he did when I was 10 years old.
God is great.
He gave me two sons.
Now I have three.
Make sure you give me no reason to be angry with you.
And?
Uday, you owe me 50 dinar.
50 dinar?
You see?
Trying to get money from your brother is like trying to get blood from a stone.
What?
It's not him.
What?
It's your turn, brother.
Fuck them. Fucking Kuwaitis.
I hate them all.
Worse than horseflies.
My brothers, welcome to Baghdad.
Fuck!
Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Fucking Kuwaitis!
I fucking hate Jews, I hate horseflies
and I hate fucking Persians,
but I hate fucking Kuwaitis more!
They insult us.
They are filth. They maul our women.
The Kuwaitis have been stealing $280 million a year
from the oilfields at Rumaila.
$280 million a year!
You know we traced the weapon.
I just know the fucking Kuwaitis are behind this!
I hope my father wipes them out.
No, I'm telling you this. I don't care who knows it!
The age of the sheikhs is over. Over!
- What? - It's me, habibi.
What are you doing right now?
I'm getting my nails done. Nice and sharp.
The better to scratch you with.
Did I ever tell you how much I love your ass?
It's the best ass in Baghdad. I'll see you soon.
Hey, you, you!
You'll meet many women.
Whores, wealthy women from Al Mansour
who come looking for a favor and offer you favors in return.
Schoolgirls he snatches off the street.
- You'll be given your fair share. - Ready, guys?
Never even speak to a woman Uday has chosen for himself.
He is insane.
You know it, Munem.
He's insane.
You turn a blind eye. You have no choice.
I understand that.
You are a good man in a bad job.
Look at him.
He's psychotic.
Come on, kiss. Kiss more. More. Kiss, kiss.
Who wants to sleep with me tonight? You?
Through the window of a British worker's flat,
the Battle of Kuwait unfolds.
Saddam Hussein, very simply, you cannot bully your neighbor.
You cannot wipe him out, a member of the Arab League,
a member of the United Nations.
Saddam H ussein! The hero of the Battle of Qadisiyyah.
The knight of the Arab nations.
Direct descendant of the prophet.
Saddam the noble fighter.
Scion of the family of Imam al-Hussein.
Ladies and gentlemen, Uday Saddam Hussein.
The age of the sheikhs is over!
With the help of Almighty God,
Kuwait has come home!
Hey, you. The teeth. You with the teeth.
Come on. I'll give you a ride.
Hey! Hey, hey, hey! You! No, no, no, no. You, you, you.
Hey, you.
Don't be scared. Come for a ride.
Come on, get in the car. I'll give you a lift home.
I'll take you back.
Hey, don't be scared. Why do you run? Why do you run?
Come on. Why are you running? I'll take you home.
Come on.
Hey. How about you?
I love what you've done with your hair.
Hey, hey, hey!
It's okay, it's okay. Don't be scared. Don't be scared.
It's all right.
You're beautiful. Don't be scared. I'm not going to hurt you.
Brother, she's beautiful. You want her?
- Take. - No!
What? What? Don't fucking look at me like that.
- Like what? - Like that.
I know that fucking look. I know what you're thinking.
Think what the fuck you like. I like cunt. I want cunt.
I see a cunt, I want to fuck it. I don't care.
I love my country, I love my mother, my father.
But I love cunt more than I love God!
Does her mama know that she's out?
You know this man?
This is Kamel Hannah.
He's my father's greatest friend.
He tastes his food.
Did she get a note from her teacher?
See this watch?
You see this watch?
How much you think a watch like this costs?
How much? How much you think a watch like this costs? $10,000.
It's a $10,000 watch. My father bought him that watch.
Why? Why did my father buy Kamel Hannah a watch like this?
Shall I tell you why? Shall I tell you why?
Shall I tell you why my father loves Kamel Hannah so much?
- Because he gets his whores for him. - Rubbish.
Our mother... Our mother sits around the house and weeps
because of the whores this man brings my father.
She wanders, she walks around the palace,
walks around the palace, staring in the mirrors,
looking at herself like a fucking zombie
because of the whores this man brings my father!
- Shall I kill him, brother? - Uday.
What do you think, brother?
What do you think? Shall I kill him?
Kill your father's greatest friend?
He is a twittering little pimp that has driven my mother mad.
- Maybe I'll let you kill him for me. - Uday.
No.
I don't know him. It's meaningless.
If I am going to kill somebody, I want to know why I'm going to do it.
Uday.
- You fucker! - Easy, easy.
You should be ashamed of your...
Motherfucker.
Come into my bedroom. Come on.
Would you like a drink? A nice drink?
I like to drink whiskey.
Take it, here, here.
Would you like some? Would you like some?
That's it. In just one. In one. In one.
You're very beautiful. You're a very beautiful girl.
Beg me... Beg me to fuck you.
Beg me. Go on, beg me to fuck you.
He humiliate me.
Why not? Just say it. Beg me. Beg me to fuck you.
- I can't. - Come on.
- I... - Yes?
- ...beg... - ...beg...
...you... I can't.
- Go on. - No.
- Beg me. Beg me. - No.
Beg me! Beg me to fuck you.
Beg me to fuck you.
Beg me to fuck you! Beg me!
- Beg! Beg! Beg! - I beg...
Yassem! Yassem!
- Who's doing that? - That pig, Kamel Hannah. He won't stop.
He says he doesn't take orders from faggots.
Stop!
- Fuck you. - I order you to stop!
I don't take orders from you! I take orders from Saddam Hussein.
Uday, Uday...
No! No!
Boss, come on. Let's go.
Just get her out of here, okay?
He took pills, sleeping pills.
Give me the knife.
You'll kill him.
The loss of blood and...
I should have gelded him at birth.
At 7:00 tonight the armed forces of the United States began an operation
at the direction of the President
to force Saddam Hussein to withdraw his troops from Kuwait
and to end his occupation of their country.
That's the latest Tomahawk cruise missile
to fly just over our position here.
Anti-aircraft gunners all around have been trying to shoot them down.
I have said to the people of Iraq
that our quarrel was not with them,
but instead with their leadership
and above all with Saddam Hussein.
Kuwait has been stealing our oil.
Millions of dollars a year.
Millions of dollars. Millions of dollars.
Kuwait has been stealing our oil. Millions of dollars a year.
From the oilfields. From our oilfields at Rumaila.
Kuwait.
Kuwait, Kuwait.
Kuwait has stolen our Iraqi oil!
Millions of dollars a year from our oilfields at Rumaila.
Our country is losing more than a billion dollars a year!
Take the glasses off.
What are you doing here?
- How did you get in? - Do you want me to go?
Why are you wearing Ray-Bans at 1 :00 in the morning?
Take them off.
- I want to be sure it's you. - Are you sure?
I can always tell.
You cannot stay here.
Have you seen what's going on outside?
Hear what Saddam said on television? "The mother of all battles."
Iraqi people are not stupid. Nobody believes that crap.
Iraq is going to burn to the ground. We won't see that on TV.
And Uday? Is he reporting for duty?
No. Uday has gone to bed with a splitting headache
because Yassem Al-Helou forgot to press his tweed hunting breeches.
He's a child. He'll tire of you.
He tires of everything.
One day soon, he'll tire of me
and I'll end up at the bottom of the lake with the fish.